December 7, 2016

New Math, Old Misery

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He enters the bedroom at 7:45 in the morning. He has squeezed himself into last year's hoodie footie pajamas and pulled the hood up over his newly short hair. Seven forty five would be a civilized time of day if it weren't the hour that he was beginning his math homework. There have been three occasions in the ten collective years of elementary school that I have been pulled down the rabbit hole. I consider this a combination of incredible luck and parenting prowess. Luck because my boys are Read more [...]
December 6, 2016

No more f’ing stuff. Holiday shopping for kids who have what they need

If your house is like mine you navigate a Lego minefield and dine amongst art supplies. You sniff stuffed animals for cat pee, refold unworn sweaters and search fruitlessly for the dice of a thousand board games. We don’t need any more stuff. Yet the season of giving is steamrolling towards us. Our house features both eight nights of Hannukah and a visit from Santa. This means we are overcome with 9 days of wrapping paper and stuff to store and ignore. This year things are going to be different. With Read more [...]
December 5, 2016

Mind Blowing Sex can be anti-climactic

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It was 4:30 on a Thursday and Steve and I were shut in the bathroom to avoid the two and four legged beasts in our house. It wasn't supposed to be intimate or life-changing. This was the check in kind of sex. The type that says "I remember you." A quick release and a promise of more to come. Instead I ended on the floor unable to see or stand. My mind blown. The pain in my head went way beyond childbirth. There was no number on the scale for what I felt. The clutching at the back of my neck Read more [...]
November 1, 2016

No-vember

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It's early to write off a whole month of writing but I think I am up for the challenge. Read more [...]
October 20, 2016

Naked Cowboys and f***ing Oysters

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Oysters have a reputation. They get around and they get you to get around. So you might have read the title of this post as a euphemism. But it is not. It is a lament. When my mother called to tell me that she had a horrible stomach bug from oysters I didn't really believe her. I thought of all of the times we discussed our lives of privilege  and wondered if complaining over oysters was perhaps the pinnacle of whining on the yacht. Then, as my kids say, I searched it up on the internet and Read more [...]
October 11, 2016

Love through the ages

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In another tab not so far away I am down an enormous rabbit hole writing about honor. I have fallen so far as to read Freshman lectures, reseach Socrates and talk to the adorable couple at the table next to me. I call them adorable because that is what they call each other. "You're adorable." "No, you're adorable." If they weren't so adorable it would be a lot less adorable than it is. Or something. They are not a new couple...they have been at our shared coffee shop a lot. Just never Read more [...]
October 7, 2016

Sick Day

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His voice is so small stretching across the line. I am only a few streets away but I feel the distance between his school world and my home life, his sickness and my wellness. "My ears hurt." In his decade on earth this child has never uttered those words. I am thinking about my anti-anti-biotic stance and missed spelling tests and then I am called back to the little voice. "Mama" he asks "do you think I should come home?" It is only 25 minutes until the end of school. It would be easy to ask Read more [...]
October 5, 2016

The benefits of a big stick.

I’m giving the whole wordless Wednesday thing a try. Trees, branches, sticks.

October 3, 2016

The business end of blogging

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(Almost) every morning I write. I credit my need to write to my mother who made me keep a journal. Every night I had to sit with my bound book for 15 minutes. Roughly 87% of my entries were about how much I loathed keeping a journal. The rest were poems written to my cat. For a brief period of time I wrote about Nate Archibald, the Celtics point guard with the nickname Tiny who made his way cheerfully through the courts with the giants. He was my guy. Although he probably enjoyed his paycheck he Read more [...]
September 29, 2016

How to get offered a sponsored post

I am about as capable of pitching as this toy is at fixing an engine.
If strike through was allowed in titles this post would be called: How not to get offered a sponsored post again. It's pretty simple. Just say no. People have pitched me to pitch them. I have been asked to write about toys and trips and books and strange powder that you put in hair to make it look less thin. (I did try this product but ended up with weird color on my fingertips and an itchy scalp.) I am supposed to tell you to buy beautiful purple make up bags. I have found that they work Read more [...]
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