October 20, 2016

Naked Cowboys and f***ing Oysters

Oysters have a reputation. They get around and they get you to get around. So you might have read the title of this post as a euphemism. But it is not. It is a lament. When my mother called to tell me that she had a horrible stomach bug from oysters I didn't really believe her. I thought of all of the times we discussed our lives of privilege  and wondered if complaining over oysters was perhaps the pinnacle of whining on the yacht. Then, as my kids say, I searched it up on the internet and Read more [...]
October 11, 2016

Love through the ages

In another tab not so far away I am down an enormous rabbit hole writing about honor. I have fallen so far as to read Freshman lectures, reseach Socrates and talk to the adorable couple at the table next to me. I call them adorable because that is what they call each other. "You're adorable." "No, you're adorable." If they weren't so adorable it would be a lot less adorable than it is. Or something. They are not a new couple...they have been at our shared coffee shop a lot. Just never Read more [...]
October 7, 2016

Sick Day

His voice is so small stretching across the line. I am only a few streets away but I feel the distance between his school world and my home life, his sickness and my wellness. "My ears hurt." In his decade on earth this child has never uttered those words. I am thinking about my anti-anti-biotic stance and missed spelling tests and then I am called back to the little voice. "Mama" he asks "do you think I should come home?" It is only 25 minutes until the end of school. It would be easy to ask Read more [...]
October 5, 2016

The benefits of a big stick.

I’m giving the whole wordless Wednesday thing a try. Trees, branches, sticks.

October 3, 2016

The business end of blogging

(Almost) every morning I write. I credit my need to write to my mother who made me keep a journal. Every night I had to sit with my bound book for 15 minutes. Roughly 87% of my entries were about how much I loathed keeping a journal. The rest were poems written to my cat. For a brief period of time I wrote about Nate Archibald, the Celtics point guard with the nickname Tiny who made his way cheerfully through the courts with the giants. He was my guy. Although he probably enjoyed his paycheck he Read more [...]
September 29, 2016

How to get offered a sponsored post

I am about as capable of pitching as this toy is at fixing an engine.
If strike through was allowed in titles this post would be called: How not to get offered a sponsored post again. It's pretty simple. Just say no. People have pitched me to pitch them. I have been asked to write about toys and trips and books and strange powder that you put in hair to make it look less thin. (I did try this product but ended up with weird color on my fingertips and an itchy scalp.) I am supposed to tell you to buy beautiful purple make up bags. I have found that they work Read more [...]
September 28, 2016

Not so Great Expectations: Living Life with a Low Bar

This is a story of low expectations. For two weeks I have had drippy itchy eyes. Staying physically on the verge of tears has changed my mood. Scientists as far back as Darwin have suggested that "(e)ven the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our minds." So for two weeks I have felt sad. Earlier this week in the midst of my pervasive sadness allergies I drove two delightful friends visiting Vermont on a tour of Denver hot spots. During our journey I exposed them to unavoidable Read more [...]
September 26, 2016

Five Fabulous Family Games you can play in Fifteen Minutes.

Every Wednesday we sit down for family game night. If you are like me the very phrase causes you to break out in a cold sweat. It will start out all fun and, well, games. It will inevitable evolve into catatonic boredom or shrieking accusations of cheating. If we are lucky it can be both of the above. Happily we are finally past the life stage where we play the game of Life, that endless game with no strategy. We are not yet ready for full on gambling although we have begun the process of Read more [...]
September 22, 2016

Euphemism, Youth-emism

The face of someone who gets it.
I don't mean to brag but my kids already understand penis jokes. Yesterday Oliver was selecting a banana from the bunch and held up his choice. "I like this one, it is long and hard." Like any good role model I snickered. Leo looked at me from his kitchen stool. First his eyes were slanted quizzically. Then they opened wide with understanding. "You are laughing because a banana is like a penis." Why yes I was. The solid grasp of penis humor (see what I did there) began, as it should have, Read more [...]
September 19, 2016


Trigger warning...this post might make Monday worse. In fact, by starting with a g-damned trigger warning it already has. Also- reminder I am an expert on virtually nothing other than being a lazy parent and wearing comfortable shoes. So take my recommendations with a shaker of salt. I started my day down a rabbit hole. It was my own fault...mine and pretty much all of you. I read about superbugs and sadly I don't mean turbo charged Volkswagon. In Ferris Jabr's New York times article that Read more [...]
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