November 1, 2017

Hate local

Vegas, Manhattan, Paris, almost every part of the world that is not filled with white people. Gay people, Jews, women, Muslims. Hatred is everywhere.  Including inside most of us.  The primary solution being preached against hate crimes and acts of terror is Love. A life of love is what most of us aspire to...but it is not realistic for many of us. It is like advocating abstinence for teen pregnancy. Teens will have sex as surely as we will struggle with hatred.   Let’s keep trying Read more [...]
October 31, 2017

Is the such a thing as a Halloween grinch?

He is standing in front of me in his cardboard box, arms pinned to his sides. I am picking bits of duct (duck?) tape residue off of my fingers and wondering if my bathrobe will be able to be de-wizarded. "Does everyone like Halloween?" He asks me. I pause for just a bit too long. "Do YOU like Halloween Mama?" Images flash before me. Trick or Treating with just my parents. Getting egged in Seventh Grade after being invited to walk the neighborhood with the cool kids. Feeling Read more [...]
October 11, 2017

Boots and boobs

It is that point in the party where everyone is leaning in a little too closely and speaking a little too loudly. We have stopped talking about middle school and started talking about boobs. "Mine are bigger." She tells me. I don't really need to answer. First of all MINE are bigger but second of all I don't really need to have this conversation. Earlier in the evening the two of us were sitting together by the fire pit strategizing about our party plan. We both anticipating an early night. Read more [...]
September 22, 2017

Moving on from Miscarriage

At book club last night a friend told the story of calling her husband. "Bring home milk." She told him. "And cornichons." "What...are you pregnant?" he asked. We all responded with a hearty laugh. We are old enough now so that is barely a physical option. Most of us have made SURE it is not an option. It sent me back though, to the time when I thought it was a choice. When I really wanted a third kid. When I couldn't have one. — The tiny woman stands in front of me beaming. She Read more [...]
September 18, 2017

One tiny tip for tackling mental illness

There is something about starting your day (particularly your Monday) fumbling with a plastic pill bottle. Or four. One morning I walked into the bathroom and looked at the pill bottles lined up like soldiers going to war. Instead of being on my side, battling mental illness and hormonal imbalance the army seemed to be working against me. With each turn of the cap I was taunted by miserable messages. Healthy people don't need pills. You are not healthy. It is your fault you are not Read more [...]
September 13, 2017

How to survive a renovation with your marriage intact

Steve and I have lived through a half dozen renovations together. I was finishing a renovation when we met and one of our first dates was a picnic on the floor of my new kitchen. We sat on 24 inch wide reclaimed pine flooring. I remember thinking that I would be there long enough to see wear in the golden planks and wondering whether Steve would be there beside me. I was sort of right. Steve didn't leave me but we both left the pine floor to move in to our little house on the lake. That move was Read more [...]
September 11, 2017

Eleven- alone and together

Oliver is red as he sprints to the finish line at his cross country meet. I recognize this red. It was what I felt back in fifth grade when I played soccer. One year they took our team picture after a game and my face was as red as our uniform. At home that evening I took out a red magic marker and colored in the faces of the other girls on my team. I would not be the reddest. Oliver is the reddest and it doesn't bother him. He looks up at me and I notice once again that it won't be much longer Read more [...]
September 5, 2017

Voices in your head- fiction and writing

For months I have been slogging...and I mean slogging...through a YA utopian/dystopian novel. I don't mean reading one. I mean writing one.  It is my first attempt at long form fiction and it has just about killed me. I'll describe to you the plot and you can see the potential...and the difficulty. The novel is set in a near future society where all physical ailments have been cured. A mere 15 years after the cure citizens have to face the reality that their world is screaming towards overpopulation. Read more [...]
August 31, 2017

Does driving make you anxious?

Photo by Mike Wilson on Unsplash
She is tall and willowy. To talk to her I look up towards the Colorado sun. She has a small dog and a small-ish kid with very blue eyes and I am asking her about my face. Generously she overlooks the enormous bloody scab that I have created trying to solve the problem of a clogged pore. Instead she looks as I trace my finger over the splotchy brown areas that caused Leo to ask if I were turning into a giraffe. "No" I told him "I would have to be a whole lot taller." Today I am feeling part optimist Read more [...]
August 14, 2017

My son hung out with Hitlr 

Leo hung out with Adolf Htlr in the lobby of his Roblox game. When he told me this I was uncharacteristically quiet for a minute. "What?" Was my eventual nuanced response. "Yeah. I told him I was offended by his user name and he asked if I was a Jew. Then I said yes and also said that I thought other people would be offended. So then he said "burn all Jews" and someone else joined in." He is telling me this in a matter of fact tone. Next to him Oliver is nodding his blond head in support. "It was Read more [...]
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