September 22, 2016

Euphemism, Youth-emism

The face of someone who gets it.
I don't mean to brag but my kids already understand penis jokes. Yesterday Oliver was selecting a banana from the bunch and held up his choice. "I like this one, it is long and hard." Like any good role model I snickered. Leo looked at me from his kitchen stool. First his eyes were slanted quizzically. Then they opened wide with understanding. "You are laughing because a banana is like a penis." Why yes I was. The solid grasp of penis humor (see what I did there) began, as it should have, Read more [...]
September 19, 2016

Noneday

Trigger warning...this post might make Monday worse. In fact, by starting with a g-damned trigger warning it already has. Also- reminder I am an expert on virtually nothing other than being a lazy parent and wearing comfortable shoes. So take my recommendations with a shaker of salt. I started my day down a rabbit hole. It was my own fault...mine and pretty much all of you. I read about superbugs and sadly I don't mean turbo charged Volkswagon. In Ferris Jabr's New York times article that Read more [...]
September 16, 2016

Five must have shoes for comfort

Every morning I sit across from my cousin and write. There are times we are both working on passion projects and there are times that he is just...working. Because he gets paid. His areas of expertise are varied and writes for soccer magazine, some famous gaming site, and is editor in chief for StyleForum a men's fashion website. Yesterday he had me read his fall sneaker round up.  It made me realize for the 20,000th time how little I know or care about fashion. Some of my readers are with me. We Read more [...]
September 15, 2016

Open mouth insert foot.

I started my day on Twitter searching the #Wednesdaywisdom hashtag. I can't imagine a better place to feel uplifted in 140 characters than on my least favorite social media site. Despite my specific search I was not looking for affirmation or tips on mindfulness. I wasn't looking for something to inspire me...but something to mock. As is so often the case that something turned out to be me. When people are speaking seriously to me about mental illness or infertility I manage to keep my Read more [...]
September 13, 2016

Not Just One thing

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Dear Leo, Today marks a decade of having you in my life. It is hard to remember a time without you. A time before your almond eyed smile. A time before the special snacks you bring me. A time before you showed me what it meant to love and torture your brother in equal measure. A time before each animal represented a possible friend and each object on earth could be treasure. There was a time when I didn't think a garbage can could be a hat or a belt could be a skirt in and of itself. But you Read more [...]
September 12, 2016

Make friends not cupcakes

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This morning I stood at the counter slicing an apple with a very sharp knife. I love this knife. If I had to escape my burning house I would grab this knife. It is totally replaceable and still it makes the cut. Literally. The two boys are across from me. One casually stealing my apple slices while dodging the slicer. The other chattering about what a "weird" family we are. His evidence? That he likes red apples and I like green. I don't find it particularly noteworthy but I am enjoying his Read more [...]
September 1, 2016

The shallow end

"I still can't wear mascara" she tells her friend. She is in tailored pants, a fitted T shirt hugging her curves with toned tan arms holding her 1/2 caf skinny latte. She has chunky jewelry, brand named sandals and professionally colored blond hair. "You look great." her friend tells her, truthfully. "People are going to look at me and be like, what is up with her." I guess because of the mascara. I am listening to her and wondering 'what is up with her.' My ginger peach tea is ready at the drinks Read more [...]
August 25, 2016

Back to Back to School

Totally ready for school. I think he might be sad about the 1x1 post it notes.
For throwback Thursday I chose an old back-to-school post. Three years ago our worries were about back packs and showers. Now we wonder about social isolation. I am happy to report that Oliver now showers twice a week, Leo rarely manages mold colonies, and I never measure myself against mothers in the coffee shop. Probably because they are all working out while I am sitting on my butt. The slanted evening light comes through the plate glass of the classroom window. It lights up the half amused, Read more [...]
August 24, 2016

Navigating the waters without a charter

This is not the stairwell of a Denver charter school.
"I'm really surprised they don't have a playground." He tells me, eyebrows raised to meet blond bangs. I am not surprised. This is middle school and as far as I can remember all they need is a basketball court for the giant boy/men to throw good natured insults more rapidly than the ball, a cafeteria to host the "spot lights on me where should I put down this tray before I drop it" and the band room that one might use as a hiding place. Not that I know anything about that. Now that he can Read more [...]
August 23, 2016

Not even a little bit of hyperbole

Three nights before school we made a feeble attempt to shift bedtime. And by shift I mean re-introduce. But our grand efforts were thwarted by nose blowing. There are things my boys can't do that amaze me. Watching Oliver talk on the phone is pure comedy until I remember the suffering that must be going on on the other end of the line. He holds the phone pinched between two fingers with the microphone pressed to his ear and the part that would actually allow him to hear his conversational partner Read more [...]
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