April 16, 2018

We’ve been slimed

In a way it is what any parent dreams of. Part science, part art, all passion. When Leo started saving his money to spend on giant bottles of glue I was grateful. Finally a sensory experience beyond the world of Minecraft. I was so naive. Shaving cream (stolen from the master bath). Fancy shampoo (stolen from out guest bath). Laundry detergent (stolen from the laundry room). Baking soda (stolen from our pantry). Corn starch (ditto) all combined with the giant glue to create, well, my nightmare. For Read more [...]
March 14, 2018

Doomsday Doctor

Oliver broke both wrists skiing. He handled it pretty well. We went from splints to casts and he exclaimed over how strong and supported he felt. He might have been the first child ever to tell his parent that he REALLY couldn't stick things into his casts to help the itching. I tried to tell him that his FINGER was not the same as a sharpened pencil but he wouldn't have it. He knocked on the casts to help with itching as the med tech had instructed. Even she knew this was futile as she met my Read more [...]
February 8, 2018

Wenis and Wagina

It's sad times when the mention of the word balls doesn't make Leo snicker. Fret not, we still have plenty of sophomoric humor at the dinner table. This time however, it is the boys that are schooling us. Steve is holding his Exploding Kittens cards close to his chest, the only one in the family that follows card etiquette (or really any etiquette at all.) Leo can't let this be. He slides closer on the carefully sanded cherry bench and Steve thows a block with his elbow. Leo reaches out and Read more [...]
January 26, 2018

Dog Blog

It's 3:00am and time to start my day. My belly was a little upset just an hour ago from the full bag of treats I ate, but that has passed, and thrillingly I was able to generate some treats of my own. I left some centered between the doors of the boy's bedrooms to greet them in the morning. I also put some by the front door on the yellow tiles for guests. I tried for the side door too for the older people but there was nothing left. I am only 8 lbs so my belly really can't hold much. I will try again Read more [...]
January 23, 2018

Parenting Fails

I'm sitting at the counter eating my impossibly small piece of gluten free toast. In front of me is my journal bulging with papers that have nothing to do with writing, and my planner, filled with orthodontist appointments and PTSA meetings. I am not particularly upbeat. I take a nibble of toast, a sip of water filled with vitamin C (I will NOT get Steve's cold), and a gulp of tea. I am trying to make things come out evenly like Frances did in my favorite children's book Bread and Jam for Frances. Read more [...]
January 8, 2018

Everything and Nothing 12 hours of depressive awareness

It is 4:32 and I am lying awake, tender like a bruise. At the meditation/writing retreat I sat on my computer and broke its casing. It lost the small screws that held its sleek aluminum back on and there is a small crack that is open to its insides. It is hard to see but I know it is there. Leo brought my laptop with him on our vacation and after a bit of using it it's fan wouldn't shut off and it became hot, almost scorching to the touch. We unplugged it and it cooled off. But the battery Read more [...]
December 18, 2017

The Buddha’s nipple

I have moved through the high mountain desert at a snail’s pace. Just this step I tell myself as my conditioning and the altitude argue that I should turn around. It is a short walk from where I am staying at the Shambhala Mountain Center for the retreat and still it is a long journey. We are only in our second day and I have already learned a few important lessons. The first is that we can begin as many times as we need to. The second is that trying to write everything is probably trying to please Read more [...]
December 7, 2017

Holiday season flame out

It is the time of year that my inbox is full of emails titled "tax receipts." There is nothing that brings on holiday cheer more than sifting through dusty boxes of paperwork. I try to set aside the looming taxes and focus on festivities. I am not super successful. In the weeks leading up to the holiday season, I flip through aspirational magazines peering at magnificent mantles and imagine dry needles in my Turkish rug. Instead of immersing myself in the gorgeous garland, I picture myself on Read more [...]
November 29, 2017

I must have done something terribly wrong.

This year we decided not to have Thanksgiving with family. Although our relatives forgave us the gathering gods did not. After a lovely time on Anna Maria Island we headed to Universal and Harry Potter World on turkey day. Leo celebrated appropriately with a giant turkey leg but the rest of us clearly did not give the holiday its proper due because things quickly went downhill from there. In an effort to sound like less of an asshole I will just say that Harry Potter world and the Palmers are Read more [...]
November 1, 2017

Hate local

Vegas, Manhattan, Paris, almost every part of the world that is not filled with white people. Gay people, Jews, women, Muslims. Hatred is everywhere.  Including inside most of us.  The primary solution being preached against hate crimes and acts of terror is Love. A life of love is what most of us aspire to...but it is not realistic for many of us. It is like advocating abstinence for teen pregnancy. Teens will have sex as surely as we will struggle with hatred.   Let’s keep trying Read more [...]
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