Archive / 2012

October 25, 2012

Not Saratoga…

Sarasota. We bought a little house down there. It is cute. If you are our friend you can rent it. Mostly we will use it. Our real rental is on Anna Maria Island. That is on the gulf and feels like vacation. This is in a neighborhood. It makes me feel like I’m a 70 year old tourist, and not because it is Florida…because I walk around saying. Boys, look at that tree, see the MOSS. Oh Steve look at that flower, how bright it is. Ooooo did you see that bird? It was so colorful. And so forth. You Read more […]

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October 25, 2012

iPad, 2pad, 3pad, 4

You may be one of the very people that I have traumatized with a speech that goes something like this: Forget whatever magic formula you are trying. Tech after homework. iPads Thursday- Sunday. 30 minutes on days that end in Y. Whatever regulating you are doing is too much. It is not teaching kids the critical skill of balancing their inputs, managing their time and meeting their responsibilities.Stop being scared of kids and tech…let go of all guidelines. Just trust that after an extinction Read more […]

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October 24, 2012

Tangled up in…

Its one of those full full full moments. I never write in these, because the threads don’t seem to untangle themselves. But I want to now. A friend’s father is dying and I stood with her today, October sunlight streaming in across her face as she told how much dying was like being born. The messy-ness. The dependence. That we focus on the positive of birth and the negative of death but it really isn’t so cut and dry really. It is all nature. I have written about death a lot. Even on this blog. Read more […]

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August 29, 2012


I rolled into my shrink appt this morning 1 minute late. I am never late.  Almost never.  I got stuck at home looking at houses on zillow and I had to finish my zip code. Driving in I planned my plea.  I’m manic. I need your help. Driving, listening to pats radio, fidgeting with the window and the ac I chewed on my knuckle and twirled my hair. I don’t know how many hands I had, but they felt infinite.  I knew I wasn’t concentrating enough on the road, but really people should be pleased that Read more […]

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August 19, 2012

Why I care about you.

I was reading something super compelling about story telling and narrative and it’s efficacy in helping us remember things. But I forget all of the details. Seriously. I’ll dig through my history and see if I can find the link later. 6 Days into our 8 day trip to Michigan I reflect on how well it is going. And still…I have always felt muzzled around Steve’s family. Call it cultural differences or basic discomfort, but for 20 hours or 8 days I just sort of shrink into myself and wait until I can Read more […]

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August 1, 2012

Risky Business

In college I took a course called Hard Choices with the late, great Ed Beiser ( RI supreme court expert, and court appointed something important in the Van Bulow trial made famous by Jeremy Irons). He was already headed down hill when I got there, but as a colleague of my mothers and unofficial keeper of the jews at Brown he took a special interest in me. Despite my admiration of his style and tenacity I was unimpressed by the class. It seemed he was trying to introduce us to the radical idea of Read more […]

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July 31, 2012


For those of you asking about the diet…I am down 12 pounds. Don’t see it, don’t feel it. Still thinking about not eating. Except when I am eating when I am thinking about what I would rather be eating. I am also down one fitbit which does not like swimming in Truro ponds as much as my boys and I do. New one on the way. Porky did not defy science and swim from his bucket to the bay. Still dead, and totally forgotten. Also still dead: Sarah, who has returned to us in the form of super heavy ashes Read more […]

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July 22, 2012

Time’s up.

Leo arrives from the beach with a flopping minnow in his palms. Quickly he fills a bowl with fresh water and watches him die. I am irrationally upset by this. I was beginning to post about life and death, then got a natural example. Leo is headed to the bay now to retrieve salt water to revive the dead fish. That will likely not go well. He is sure “porky” is still alive. I don’t know how long minnows live. Perhaps this death was not premature. For most of the year our family is slotted in Read more […]

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July 18, 2012

The pretty happy life of a very fat person.

It is easier for me to complain than celebrate. Every (at least one in 6) week we have family meeting. It begins with appreciations. See. I am bored. I cant even write this. I was planning to write about the achingly lovely family meeting we had on the ferry on our way to martha’s vineyard. How connected everyone was. I dont really know how to recount it though. Fruit cups, big smiles, kind words. Oliver telling me I help him solve every problem. Ah. Just yesterday I picked the kids up from Nature Read more […]

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July 9, 2012

$ changes everything. To a point.

Read this NYtimes article this morning about money and happiness. That was not a directive to you, rather, I read it this morning. My mom sent it to me via virtual clippings, which have replaced the actual clippings that I received from her all through college. They would arrive in an envelope with a heart drawn around her initials, and at least 1/4 of the article ripped off from the careless way she had removed it from the magazine. These clippings represented most of the mail that I received Read more […]

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