Archive / 2014

September 28, 2014

Its sort of funny

Ah- choo. Crap. AHHHH-CHOOOO. Well now I’ve done it. Steve looks at me with sympathy from the bedroom door. He is dressed and ready to ride his new bike to go food shopping. Oliver flat out laughs. “Its sort of funny how you smile and frown at the same time.” I’m sitting on the bed with my laptop trying to spur some sort of post, and now I am going to have to get up and change my clothes and the sheets. Since the new kitten with her less than perfect litter box skills and the Read more […]

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September 24, 2014

Online literacy and anal rape.

Once you clear the nightmare scenarios of kidnapping and fatal illness, walking into the room to your seven year old’s screams to find him frozen in front of a video of anal rape is pretty much the last thing a parent wants. It happened to us almost a year ago, and it still comes up at the dinner table and bed time occasionally. He refers to it as “that thing I saw” and we all know what he means. I would describe it here, except I don’t want to relive it myself. The details were beyond anything Read more […]

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September 24, 2014

What love does.

Crows feet, acne, double chins, chin hair, limp hair, shortness, short of breath, bad breath, bad mood. None. Of. That. Means. Anything. When I am with you in this exact moment.

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September 23, 2014

We are we?

Yesterday I watched Leo lie in the dentist chair receiving his first filling. After a fair amount of thought we agreed to the nitrous oxide. He lay outstretched, nose covered by a grape flavored mask, mouth stretched by dental tools, eyes wrapped in sunglasses to shield him from the bright light. I found myself looking away from his face, at his still tanned legs. Looking at scrapes, and pen marks that told the story of his last few months. He is a newly eight year old. He is my son. He is not a Read more […]

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August 12, 2014

Giving In to Depression

giving in- thinking about suicide and depression

So after battling, sometimes people give in. They have passed the point where they can turn things around on their own. Their intense love for their children is buried under heaps of misery so thick they can barely speak their own name. Whatever energy they have is used to put on a public face, pretend to be functional for the people around them, and is not towards shining a light of reason into the blackness of depression.

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July 5, 2014

Dependence Day

One of the things about a beach house is how much you see each other, and how much you see of each other. It is all family here, now that my mother and Robert have exchanged rings, but I didn’t quite expect to see so much of his feet. When I spy them in his sandals I tell myself to look away. Everyone has a right to wear sandals. But there they are totally bare on my coffee table, now sort of his coffee table and I think back an hour or so when I bent over that same spot eating my breakfast. Read more […]

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June 19, 2014

Mrs Pepper

Yesterday passed in a blur. Truck and trailer, boxes and paper, sheets and towels. Things seemed to come in pairs which made a certain kind of sense of the disorder. I woke this morning at five to finish my reading assignment for tonight’s book group. My connection to the group is back east and I will meet the members alone tonight. As Steve and I furiously unpacked garment boxes to clear a path to the toilet I actually thought about what outfit I might wear. Perhaps denver is changing me already…or Read more […]

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June 17, 2014


I wouldn’t say we have really arrived, but we are here. The house is both better and worse than I remembered. Worse in that the rooms are smaller, the window sills more rotten, the dead moths more copious. Better in that I can see my way through it. It is more than a putty/paint situation, but less than a tear down. This is my renovation wheel house. The neighborhood is putting on a show. It has been unseasonably rainy here although we haven’t seen a drop and everything is leafy and green. Read more […]

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June 6, 2014


Final ask. We have almost completed our two week philanthro-me class. I am BLOWN AWAY by the change I have seen in the Burlington High School students in 9 days. We have packed in site visits, design thinking training, zen presentations, elevator pitches, planning and budgeting projects, visual pitching, a non profit round table, and social media channel development. Each day the kids talk more, move more, create more, and feel more passionate about their ability to impact their community. Please Read more […]

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