Archive / March 2017

March 30, 2017

Twelve years of this boy.

2005. I might not have started with this one if you hadn’t (gleefully) pronounced that you have vomited more than anyone else in the family. Sadly (or happily depending on your attitude which is almost always good) this is true. You were born with reflux. It was so ridiculous that I lay awake at night designing a new kind of baby sleeper which kept you strapped in and upright. Then we discovered that the swing did the trick and for several months you slept in a swing. Granny worried we would have Read more […]

Read More
March 22, 2017

Houston there is no problem- how to be ground control AND the astronaut

Beneath the noise of the coffee shop David Bowie sings. He thinks his spaceship knows which way to go. As I stand in line for my English Breakfast tea the barista admits that he front loads the playlist with his own choices and I see him in silent song daring Major Tom to leave the capsule.  I think about the amount of faith that is required for bravery. Major Tom needs to step outside his tin can to see the difference in the stars. He needs to trust ground control, himself and the entire Read more […]

Read More
March 15, 2017

Getting off.

For the last decade of my father’s life he was a virtual shut it. He shuffled down the glass hallway between our house and studio in his slippers sloshing coffee as he went. By the end of each week it were as though our tiles were cow patterned with each brown splash on the white ceramic background. Each Thursday they were mopped clean leaving him a fresh palate for the upcoming days. He wore a stretched grey sweatsuit and his sculpting assistant who camped in the loft above his gymnasium sized Read more […]

Read More
March 7, 2017

Eleven Signs You have Nailed this Parenting Thing

We worry about teaching our kids resiliency, kindness and how to eat a balanced meal. We are focused on the wrong things. If your kid can’t make a penis joke you have more parenting to do. 1. You kids understand penis humor Me: “I like a firm banana.” 11 year old: giggle. 9 year old: “what’s funny? Wait…are you talking about penises?” 11 year old: “Why yes, yes she is” 9 year old: “Thought so.” 2. Your kids express a feeling of cosmic emptiness.   11 yo: “You know what’s Read more […]

Read More
March 1, 2017

Half-assed free ways to promote your blog posts

Just because I know 20 ways to promote a blog post doesn’t mean I promote my blog post 20 ways. It is a big huge blogging world out there and it can be hard to find your audience if you are a half-assed blogger. Here is a numbered list (because the blog gods like them) to work with if you are motivated, organized, and patient. My blog is a self hosted WordPress blog. Some of these things work only for WordPress. Some work everywhere. Some may work nowhere. Low Hanging Fruit (Easy) Stumble Read more […]

Read More