One of my favorite bloggers moved to Denver. It didn’t take much stalking for us to make a coffee date. The day after I met her at my office local coffee shop I had a major spill. A week and a sinus infection/stomach bug/pinched nerve later we got together again. Inspired by her blog tagline “Some mistakes are too good not to share” I told her what I am going to tell you.

Almost every day I meet my cousin and we share a two top. We squeeze our laptops on a small space and line them with phones and hot beverages. Obviously this causes me a lot of stress. As I sidle out to pee (like perpetually because of the tea) I am very careful not to jostle the table two inches away. I am sometimes successful. Many times I have sloshed some hot liquid, burning hands and wasting drinks.

We have been here long enough that I know the names of the baristas and they know my regular order-oddly Ginger Peach tea and egg and salsa empanada. I swear that is not a gross combo. Despite my relative comfort with the people and the place I do feel I am in a constant obstacle course of cords and coffee. There is risk everywhere.

Then last week I reached my full potential. Steve and I walked to the coffee shop and he disappeared into a comfy corner with his conference call. Jasper and I took a seat in the middle of the row of tables. To my left was the guy who can’t stop talking. Each day he tells us that he has seen us before, asks us what we are writing, shows us his laptop and tell us he is writing too. Jasper has finished with him. Not because he isn’t kind (although…) but because he has limited time for his personal writing, so he plugs in and ignores the world. Including me. When I let him. I am a great procrastinator so I will engage this gentleman in his repetitive retinue.

On this morning we have finished up our review so my heavy chair is angled towards the nice looking and nice-looking 20 something at the table on my right. The outlet is between out two tables and her laptop and my phone are both charging. As she reaches for her plug she pulls my phone off of the table. I lean to grab it (I never cease to be optimistic about my ability to catch things even though I am 0 for 14,876) and my chair begins to go over on its two right legs. This is happening slowly so I begin to laugh and reach out one hand to her table and the other to mind to reset my chair legs. But, and I bet you could see this coming, instead of pulling myself upright I pulled two tables, three laptops, three hot drinks and two phones to the floor in a horrifying crash. There was a slight delay and then all hell broke out in the coffee shop. The chaos mirrored the huge rush of sound, pain and, shame  that overtook me. As I stumbled over my apologies and the chair legs EVERY barista rushed from behind the counter. Rags in hand they began swabbing and setting things right. A crowd surrounded our tiny tables which kept me from getting back up. Those that didn’t come to the scene of the crime were doing their best rubbernecking. All except my husband who sat, oblivious, in the corner of the coffee shop.

So that happened.

And I will never forget it…because my coffee shop buddy has added a new piece of chit chat to his regular conversation. “I remember that time you fell and knocked over all of that stuff.” I bet he does. Even if Steve doesn’t.

I am pleased to tell you that after I unloaded this to Aussa she was awesome… telling me about a variety of falls and spills that possibly, in total, might add up to my disaster. I plan to see her again. At this very spot, where the tables are tight and you need to squeeze into small spaces. I am a Denver expert after all…perhaps I can share this mistake with her as well. It is too good not to share.

 

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Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble, Parent.co, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at annarosenblumpalmer.com.

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