Category / Anna rambles

May 24, 2017

A revelatory “conversation” with the dentist about pole dancing

I don’t know what I expected from a dentist that offers Botox. I am reclined in her chair preparing for my filling. The dentist is preparing for my filling and I am listening. She is cheerful as she chatters about my upper jaw (maxilla, I learned, like the little known uncle of the scary ape). “It is like swiss cheese” she tells me. “I don’t really need to aim this thing at all, wherever I put it the numbing agent will just spread everywhere.” Here she waves the syringe that is at least 3 feet Read more […]

Read More
May 16, 2017

Hand in hand

I am backing slowly down the steep incline of our driveway. It is 8:10 and I am a little later than usual…but just in time for the elementary kids to swarm towards the school, bumper height obstacles from my perch at the peak of our driveway. The car is beeping in protest but a careful check confirms it is just our poorly engineered concrete that is causing concern. I pause at the point of full reverse feeling thankful that no children died at my hand this morning and allow my eyes to move through Read more […]

Read More
May 1, 2017

The end of the world, 13 year old friendship

I was looking down the long hallway when something hit me in the head. The brown paper bag bounced to the floor and I bent down to pick it up careful to keep my skirt pulled down and my legs together. Behind me my friends were laughing. I gave them a confused smile and unrolled the top of the brown paper bag. It was filled with scraps of paper. This was middle school. Friendship was the only way to survive. I walked to social studies, my only classroom without windows. My desk was in Read more […]

Read More
February 21, 2017

Palm Springs, mid century architecture and Canadian speed bumps

Trigger alert: racism, agism, whining and anti-Canadianism follows. What combines golf carts, snow capped mountains and Asian Hipster weddings? Palm Springs of course. My well cultivated stereotype cast Palm Springs as the place where aging jews and fabulous gays came together in Alexander houses for cocktails. They would toast with vintage glassware while floating beside reflection of mountains and palms in crystal clear pools. As it turns out that is only part of the picture. Palm Springs Read more […]

Read More
February 14, 2017

Love and Death. Another reason to loathe Valentine’s day

Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate Valentine’s day, how about you? Some of us are alone as highlighted by Hallmark. Some of us are together and plasticize our partnership with cheap candy and forced flowers. Some of us recycle flimsy cards from our classmates. And some of us celebrate our father’s death.   This weekend I went to a memorial celebration of a man who died way way before his time. He was a rebel and a Patriots lover. He was a polarizing figure and a phenomenal Read more […]

Read More
January 25, 2017

What’s on your desk?

For several years I have been attempting to embrace what I know to be true. Having less stuff creates more room for living. If you take a look at my desk you can see just how well my de-accession has gone. Not well. Still when push back my chair and take a look there are things I love and things I laugh at. There are actual and aspirational objects, and there is a map of my life. In addition to the metaphoric map there is a physical map. It is the artist block print of Denver neighborhoods Read more […]

Read More
December 21, 2016

Have dog will travel

For reasons that are clear if you have met me I have never been drawn to a padded bra. Sometimes when I am doing fantasy math about my weight I try to deduct the density of my breasts from the equation. Depending on my mood those suckers weigh between 10 and 100 pounds. Even on the lighter end of that spectrum they require a bit of work to get around. Last month we went on a dual trip to Florida and NYC. The night before travel I always labor over my travel outfit. I am looking for something Read more […]

Read More
December 5, 2016

Mind Blowing Sex can be anti-climactic

It was 4:30 on a Thursday and Steve and I were shut in the bathroom to avoid the two and four legged beasts in our house. It wasn’t supposed to be intimate or life-changing. This was the check in kind of sex. The type that says “I remember you.” A quick release and a promise of more to come. Instead I ended on the floor unable to see or stand. My mind blown. The pain in my head went way beyond childbirth. There was no number on the scale for what I felt. The clutching at the back of my neck Read more […]

Read More
October 20, 2016

Naked Cowboys and f***ing Oysters

Oysters have a reputation. They get around and they get you to get around. So you might have read the title of this post as a euphemism. But it is not. It is a lament. When my mother called to tell me that she had a horrible stomach bug from oysters I didn’t really believe her. I thought of all of the times we discussed our lives of privilege  and wondered if complaining over oysters was perhaps the pinnacle of whining on the yacht. Then, as my kids say, I searched it up on the internet and Read more […]

Read More
October 11, 2016

Love through the ages

In another tab not so far away I am down an enormous rabbit hole writing about honor. I have fallen so far as to read Freshman lectures, reseach Socrates and talk to the adorable couple at the table next to me. I call them adorable because that is what they call each other. “You’re adorable.” “No, you’re adorable.” If they weren’t so adorable it would be a lot less adorable than it is. Or something. They are not a new couple…they have been at our shared coffee shop a lot. Just never Read more […]

Read More
Older Posts