Category / Anna rambles

May 22, 2018

The life and death of being a parent

I am looking down at my shoes when I see hers. My flip flops have faded to a color that blends with my pale feet.  Into my square of sidewalk leaps a pair of converse high tops. I look up, but not too far, to see a frilly dress, a freckled smile and mis matched pigtails. One is low the other is high and the girl runskipwalks quickly past me. She is headed to one of her last days of one of her first years of school. I get a bit of that almost summer feeling and forget my flip flops. Half a block Read more […]

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May 16, 2018

What happens when a piece of your family is gone?

I am holding the iPad at an angle so it is the boys’ faces reflected in the screen not my own. Steve’s face looms over me at this angle. He is fumbling for his ear buds so we see first his nose, then the lapel of his linen suit, then the ceiling of the covered Tokyo walkway. While he apologizes I watch the square in the corner where his sons’ faces are angled towards him. Their brows are smooth, Oliver’s hair, wet from the shower, flops over one side of his face. We are getting it cut in two days Read more […]

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November 1, 2017

Hate local

Vegas, Manhattan, Paris, almost every part of the world that is not filled with white people. Gay people, Jews, women, Muslims. Hatred is everywhere.  Including inside most of us.  The primary solution being preached against hate crimes and acts of terror is Love. A life of love is what most of us aspire to…but it is not realistic for many of us. It is like advocating abstinence for teen pregnancy. Teens will have sex as surely as we will struggle with hatred.   Let’s keep trying Read more […]

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September 22, 2017

Moving on from Miscarriage

At book club last night a friend told the story of calling her husband. “Bring home milk.” She told him. “And cornichons.” “What…are you pregnant?” he asked. We all responded with a hearty laugh. We are old enough now so that is barely a physical option. Most of us have made SURE it is not an option. It sent me back though, to the time when I thought it was a choice. When I really wanted a third kid. When I couldn’t have one. — The tiny woman stands in front of me beaming. She Read more […]

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September 13, 2017

How to survive a renovation with your marriage intact

Steve and I have lived through a half dozen renovations together. I was finishing a renovation when we met and one of our first dates was a picnic on the floor of my new kitchen. We sat on 24 inch wide reclaimed pine flooring. I remember thinking that I would be there long enough to see wear in the golden planks and wondering whether Steve would be there beside me. I was sort of right. Steve didn’t leave me but we both left the pine floor to move in to our little house on the lake. That move was Read more […]

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August 14, 2017

My son hung out with Hitlr 

Leo hung out with Adolf Htlr in the lobby of his Roblox game. When he told me this I was uncharacteristically quiet for a minute. “What?” Was my eventual nuanced response. “Yeah. I told him I was offended by his user name and he asked if I was a Jew. Then I said yes and also said that I thought other people would be offended. So then he said “burn all Jews” and someone else joined in.” He is telling me this in a matter of fact tone. Next to him Oliver is nodding his blond head in support. “It was Read more […]

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August 11, 2017

The most stylish blogger I know interviews me (?)

People who don’t blog (the sane ones in the world) often ask why I put it all out there. I have written about that before. Another hidden benefit of blogging is the connections I make online. I have friends from all over the world who know little slivers of my life as I do theirs. In addition to the navel gazing bloggers like me I have developed relationships with “niche” bloggers. AKA those who know something about something. One of these is Linda Hobden of Boots, Shoes, and Fashion. She lands Read more […]

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July 12, 2017

Living with a bad case of nostalgia

We have returned to Vermont and I have caught a bad case of nostalgia. My symptoms are obvious. I walk around sighing deeply my phone at the ready to capture images of things I remember. Something is wrong with my vision because I only see in sepia tones. As my son eats his creemee I see him in triplicate. He is a toddler and a young child and here his is now, on the same bench under the same tree with the same country store behind him. He is even giving the same sigh of pleasure as he makes Read more […]

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May 24, 2017

A revelatory “conversation” with the dentist about pole dancing

I don’t know what I expected from a dentist that offers Botox. I am reclined in her chair preparing for my filling. The dentist is preparing for my filling and I am listening. She is cheerful as she chatters about my upper jaw (maxilla, I learned, like the little known uncle of the scary ape). “It is like swiss cheese” she tells me. “I don’t really need to aim this thing at all, wherever I put it the numbing agent will just spread everywhere.” Here she waves the syringe that is at least 3 feet Read more […]

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May 16, 2017

Hand in hand

I am backing slowly down the steep incline of our driveway. It is 8:10 and I am a little later than usual…but just in time for the elementary kids to swarm towards the school, bumper height obstacles from my perch at the peak of our driveway. The car is beeping in protest but a careful check confirms it is just our poorly engineered concrete that is causing concern. I pause at the point of full reverse feeling thankful that no children died at my hand this morning and allow my eyes to move through Read more […]

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