Category / cat (pee)

May 10, 2016

She is a Total Pussy- trouble with my live in love

Pussy Cat

She is a total pussy: intimacy issues with my live in love. It has been almost a year since I invited her into my house, began to care for her, paying her doctors bills, buying her dinner, cleaning up after her when she got sick. I had visions for a future of mutual contentment. I thought she would be someone to share my life with, someone to cuddle up with at the end of a hard day. Instead I have learned that she has intimacy issues. She seems incapable of meeting my needs. She thinks I don’t Read more […]

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May 5, 2016

How not to snuggle a claustrophobe

Elevators, airplanes, playing “hide and go seek” in the refrigerator…they are all terrifying. The combination of small metal container, limited supply of oxygen and  me creates the exact anxious reaction you would expect from a claustrophobe. Increased heart rate, clammy sweating, and the inability to take in air. The only things my lungs are good for when I feel trapped is screaming.  Despite my extreme reaction this type of claustrophobia is not a big problem in my life. I can avoid those Read more […]

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January 26, 2016

Heavy Petting

What kind of a person gives away her dog? The one she raised from a pup, who rode in the car with his arm on her shoulder like a giant canine parrot. The one who covered her face with kisses. The one who she insisted didn’t smell like dog. Me, I guess. I also gave away a peeing cat…but that is another story. Buckley, named for Jeff of the soulful voice and youthful drowning, was my second attempt to get a guy. The first was building a bar, but it turns out the guys you meet at 1am on Read more […]

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December 17, 2015

Down on my knees

There are a few good reasons to be down on one’s knees. Scrubbing buffalo sauce off of a sheep skin rug is not one of them. Four years ago I got a sheepskin from a family/friends farm. It was a particularly Vermont moment when they unpacked their maple syrup, sheepskin, and side dishes from their woven baskets. This gift exchange was during the heart of our local eating, when the kids still called their beef Marilyn after the first cow we dined on. I felt a literal and figurative warmth for the Read more […]

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November 10, 2015

How (not) to have the best night’s sleep of your life

I stand paused in front of a cook book called “Dump.” I see that it was written for the crockpot set, but still wonder at the branding team that unloaded this on the public. I want to reach out to examine it more closely but my good arm is filled with animal shaped slippers and as seen on TV engraving tools. It is early November so I am following the Rite Aid Rule and shopping for the holidays. Really I am waiting for my medication (AGAIN) but as the customer flow wizards know waiting is the same Read more […]

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October 20, 2015

Cat sleeping with One eye open Looks dead

October 19, 2015 Denver, CO In what has become her signature move the 17 year old cat known as “Lucy” is again asleep with her eye open. While her family gathers around to wait for the breath to signal that she is not dead they recount other more active times. “There was that one day where she slept on the bed and BOTH couches” remembers Leo, the younger son, with wistful pleasure. “I always know she is alive when she is hacking up her dinner on the rug” the less sentimental older Read more […]

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September 10, 2015

Free Range Cats

I’m sure people are outraged by this, but we let our cats roam free. In Vermont that meant lots of sappy pine needle encrusted dreadlocks. It also meant catamounts. In the 18 years I lived in Vermont with between 1 and 4 cats we lost 2 full cats and one cat tail to predators. If we consider the tail .20 of a cat we can calculate a rate of .12 cats/year. Which if you have an overweight cat might be a very good thing. I joke. There are risks to outdoor cats, cars, critters and here in Read more […]

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September 4, 2015

Let’s go to bed.

Bed

Its a reality of midlife and motherhood that you are less likely to see 2:42 AM for vodka than for…well…midlife or motherhood, or both . Maybe you had a date night with your husband that involved driving 1.5 hours through a lightening storm to go to a sportbar to watch the fourth preseason game with hometown fans. He is a peach to do this for you, and will be justly rewarded. Later. Like when you don’t need your pillow more than anything else. Tuesday night it was a stomach ache. Read more […]

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August 28, 2015

Either end

We lay sunggled in bed early morning. Not my husband and I, obviously, but my older son and I. We spoke about not much. The should-be -dead cat tried and failed to settle herself on our lumpy bodies and I lifted her gently and placed her on Steve’s still slumbering form. The transfer took. A moment later she raised herself awkwardly onto bent legs shuddering with an unproductive hack cough and I wondered for about the 2,000th time if her quality of life was good enough to keep things going. Read more […]

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