Category / Life blogs

December 5, 2016

Mind Blowing Sex can be anti-climactic

It was 4:30 on a Thursday and Steve and I were shut in the bathroom to avoid the two and four legged beasts in our house. It wasn’t supposed to be intimate or life-changing. This was the check in kind of sex. The type that says “I remember you.” A quick release and a promise of more to come. Instead I ended on the floor unable to see or stand. My mind blown. The pain in my head went way beyond childbirth. There was no number on the scale for what I felt. The clutching at the back of my neck Read more […]

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September 28, 2016

Not so Great Expectations: Living Life with a Low Bar

This is a story of low expectations. For two weeks I have had drippy itchy eyes. Staying physically on the verge of tears has changed my mood. Scientists as far back as Darwin have suggested that “(e)ven the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our minds.” So for two weeks I have felt sad. Earlier this week in the midst of my pervasive sadness allergies I drove two delightful friends visiting Vermont on a tour of Denver hot spots. During our journey I exposed them to unavoidable Read more […]

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September 15, 2016

Open mouth insert foot.

I started my day on Twitter searching the #Wednesdaywisdom hashtag. I can’t imagine a better place to feel uplifted in 140 characters than on my least favorite social media site. Despite my specific search I was not looking for affirmation or tips on mindfulness. I wasn’t looking for something to inspire me…but something to mock. As is so often the case that something turned out to be me. When people are speaking seriously to me about mental illness or infertility I manage to keep my Read more […]

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July 11, 2016

My second to last first date

It is the end of another long night at my bar. I am spitting out orders to the closing staff, and swallowing the last sip of my single drink of the night. A medium sized man approaches me. Despite the late hour he is unlike the other drinkers who linger. His calm surrounds him in a cloud and I want to step into it. I can’t quite tell which celebrity he looks like. But one of them. It remains just on the outskirts of my brain as we talk, and I am distracted by this and his forearms while he asks Read more […]

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July 6, 2016

There are lots of places like home.

Our time away from home was all about home. We started in Vermont. I was sort of crushed by it. Unlike last summer where Vermont was wearing its sunshine finery it was grey and chilly for most of this visit. Last year we went tubing on the lake, to outdoor concerts, and BBQs at the yacht club (whatever you are picturing when you read the phrase yacht club you are incorrect- it is quite un yacht like.) This year we shivered. Even so as we branched onto Falls Rd at 11pm past the literal country Read more […]

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June 8, 2016

Vacation

I’m taking a month off. I’ll be traveling with the family and working (I hope) on a longer project. If anything truly outrageous occurs I will likely post here…because if I don’t bitch about it online I might have just imagined it. Happy June     Read more […]

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June 2, 2016

You married the wrong person. Now what?

By now you have all read (or ignored) Alain De Botton’s (ADB’s- if I can call him that) NYTimes opinion piece…”Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.” If you chose to ignore it you should read it. This is not my first blog post. I know that very few of you clicked that link, so I will boil down De Botton’s beautifully reasoned piece with less lyricism and more lyrics. Fields of Gold. People used to marry to get more fields (or gold, or titles or whatever.) That was the marriage of reason. More Read more […]

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May 19, 2016

Choking…up. The highs and lows of parenting

Choking up with sadness

It is once again game night. Steve is back in Baltimore visiting his second family working so I have called in reinforcements. Our neighbors gather around the table with us to play Apples to Apples Junior. After several years of using Sharpies to customize cards the game has a decidedly less “junior” feel. There are about 5 cards that read “my balls” but lately the ante has been upped and there are “hairy balls” “big bald balls” and “your neighbor’s balls.” This one was particularly awkward with Read more […]

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May 9, 2016

Echoes- nothing really ends

the end of the echoes of music

For weeks I have been woken by a woodpecker. Sadly, not my husband’s. It sounds like construction inside my head, its knocking not quite rhythmic making it hard to sort out neatly into dreams. The sound echoes off of the strange slants of my bedroom ceiling entering my consciousness the way the bird enters the ailing tree. Awake earlier than we want my husband holds my hand and gives it a light squeeze. I feel a rush of pain and remember the injury I sustained rolling around on the floor at Read more […]

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May 2, 2016

The precipice of change

precipice of change

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. C.S. Lewis Oliver has spent the weekend reviewing his packing list getting himself ready to spend three days in the woods with his fifth grade class. At night we lie close and he tells me that he will come back more grown up, but that I don’t have to worry…he will always be my boy. Clasped together I notice that our hands are the same size. Behind us the clothes are laid out across the living Read more […]

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