Category / New England Patriots

April 10, 2017

TB12 diet. Eat like a goat.

TB12 ramen bowl

I woke up this morning thinking about Tom Brady. Not in THAT way. I was thinking about the TB12 diet for which I forked out $78 dollars to fork up plants for 3 nights. The diet was doomed from the start. The box arrived marked perishable and somehow was left at the very edge of our property amidst the traffic of elementary schoolers. A kind neighbor friend left her car idling to bring the box all the way to our door and was attacked by the school parking people. The normal parent patrol Read more […]

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March 7, 2017

Eleven Signs You have Nailed this Parenting Thing

We worry about teaching our kids resiliency, kindness and how to eat a balanced meal. We are focused on the wrong things. If your kid can’t make a penis joke you have more parenting to do. 1. You kids understand penis humor Me: “I like a firm banana.” 11 year old: giggle. 9 year old: “what’s funny? Wait…are you talking about penises?” 11 year old: “Why yes, yes she is” 9 year old: “Thought so.” 2. Your kids express a feeling of cosmic emptiness.   11 yo: “You know what’s Read more […]

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February 14, 2017

Love and Death. Another reason to loathe Valentine’s day

Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate Valentine’s day, how about you? Some of us are alone as highlighted by Hallmark. Some of us are together and plasticize our partnership with cheap candy and forced flowers. Some of us recycle flimsy cards from our classmates. And some of us celebrate our father’s death.   This weekend I went to a memorial celebration of a man who died way way before his time. He was a rebel and a Patriots lover. He was a polarizing figure and a phenomenal Read more […]

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February 12, 2016

We are no Stepford Family

For many years I lived in Shelburbia. Now I live in Hilltop. On the surface there is a certain blond sheen to both of these communities. Where Vermont has wholesome apple picking and farmers markets and hikes Hilltop has ubering to hip eateries strolling to bespoke coffee shops and taking Fridays off to ski in powder. In both communities these activities can be done in high end yoga pants. There just might be a bit more Botox in Colorado. There are very few people in either neighborhood that actually Read more […]

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September 3, 2015

Arm-y of one

I am the rare Patriots fanatic that doesn’t love Tom Brady. I find his toothy model smile more like a smirk. I interpret his head down on the sideline to be sulking, rather than studying the video of the previous play. His insular life is on view yet I judge him for protecting his privacy. His teammates love him. The members of the Pikes Peak Pats fan club adore him. The Facebook group New England Patriots Nation to a man (and woman) would blow him given the chance. I know my team would Read more […]

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January 21, 2015

My balls

For years Leo has annotated our Apples to Apples cards. Instead of beachballs the smudged marker now reads “MYballs” He uses it like a punchline the way my preadolescent self tagged “in bed” to the end of each fortune cookie slip. It never fails to amuse him, and generally the rest of us as well. “Oh dear” exclaims his older brother and Leo looks at him through slitted eyes. Too soft, he seems to say. “My balls” he corrects and they run off together, small problem averted for the time being. I Read more […]

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April 10, 2014

Anna Rosenblum Palmer: A football story

Dear Fred, Paul, Andy, Kevin, and that other guy: Andy asked me to call in after I donated to his Marathon Fund. I decided to write instead because I don’t think my story will make for good radio. Still I felt compelled to share it because there are probably lots of others like me. My father, a sculptor always had a studio in our house. The after school soundtrack of my life was whichever two yahoos he was listening to on sports radio yelling at each other. It was AM in those days, and his Read more […]

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February 1, 2014

Next generation of party talk

Leo asks me for the rundown of our superbowl party. Both because we used to host huge all inclusive events at the old house, and because theoretically he wants everyone to come over until they actually arrive and he has to share his stuff he seems surprised that Zoe isn’t coming. He asks three times. Is Zoe coming? Not this time. Why not? Um…she wasn’t invited. Why not? This is a party of friends we met through Dada’s work…and a few neighborhood families. I am listing Steve’s work friends, Read more […]

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January 20, 2014

Forgiveness

On the morning after the Patriots loss an hour or so before I will talk with my kids about loving humanity, even when humans can be horrible I am thinking about forgiveness. This might not be the best venue for this, because so many of you don’t know them, but I want to tell you about some friends of mine. They are a late 30s married couple who have navigated some challenging times together. For years she was the primary earner, working as a lawyer while he stayed home with their daughter. Read more […]

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