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January 22, 2014

i (vaguely re)cal (l)

iCal seems to have trouble letting go. Either that or I have trouble managing my iCal(s) Every Wednesday I am reminded of Leo’s piano lesson. He quit (three) years ago. On Tuesdays I am supposed to pick up the milk. We stopped buying raw milk about a year ago, six months before our farm stopped selling it. That left us less miserable than other members, and each week (as I x out Cal’s reminder) I remember agonizing over the decision that turned out to only have impact for 6 months. Or, if Read more […]

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July 30, 2013

Signs that it is not a good day

I consider kicking Steve into his alarm clock to silence it.  Showering is just too difficult. Too much energy. When my kid kisses me I check him for snot trails. Just common sense. I eat cereal. Begin countdown to shakes, and stomach pain. Too difficult to make a real breakfast. The sunlight highlights the dust on my dashboard. So dusty. Too difficult to clean. The smell of (<—–this) in my office makes me want to gag. I am at my office. Instead of the workout place. I can’t Read more […]

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July 23, 2013

Number 172 in a series about why you shouldn’t allow your kid to dictate your mood.

He stomps his foot and glares at me. “You don’t make me happy. You are the worst mama on earth.” “You are right, I can’t make you happy. Only you can make you happy.” See, that there, that’s high level stuff. Really first rate parenting. Clearly the six year old mid meltdown will integrate this wisdom and immediately re-set his mood. “How?” he wails. I look up from the laptop. “A bike ride?” “A great snack, a nap, reading a book?” “NO NO NO NO.” I’ve already proven that I don’t Read more […]

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June 12, 2013

Endings

The last thing I saw was a weeping scorpion in a tie dye shirt. “Don’t leave me.” The first day of kindergarten was joyous. This sing along picnic was so so sad. It felt a little inside out that way. Leo at least wore his insides out. The morning started with a grimace from Steve, telling me that our eight day of wind and rain had freed our boat from its mooring. I squashed my inner elation. Steve was actually upset. And needed to deal with the marooned boat corpse on the same day Read more […]

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June 7, 2012

The hard stuff- honesty and depression

So I write about things like career crisis, and social anxiety, and people’s innate behavior. Sometimes I write about parenting. I write with honesty. I don’t have another choice. It is just the way it works when you don’t really have a filter. In any case I think it is time to write about something even more honest than career confusion. Depression. Many of my close friends know I battle depression because when they ask me how I am doing in a casual chatty way I answer with a more disclosure Read more […]

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February 9, 2012

Calendar Oddities

I wrote this on January 18th. I never posted it. I haven’t written anything since. Perhaps posting this old thing will get me back on track. Calendar Oddities: I seem to have a brain blank about today being the 18th (this is where the disclaimer helps). To my grey matter tomorrow is the 18th, although my cell phone knows that today is the day. Is it a problem that I trust my iPhone over me? Driving into work I asked me why today shouldn’t be the 18th. I answered with the double illogic that is Read more […]

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January 13, 2012

Analog Anna

I temporarily misplaced my laptop charger sometime between Monday and Tuesday. I remained so convinced that I would find it that I didn’t replace it until this morning. This led to a very strange work week. I suffered from cord envy On instagram I came across a compelling image of a laptop, a sparkling glass of wine, and a beautiful bowl of clementines and all I could focus on was the tiny curl of tempting white cord. It looked so life giving and present. At meetings, while being complimented on Read more […]

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January 3, 2012

Me Devil Times

Going to skip tales of road trip, family visit, incredible Toronto Design center, and all work related things. Must seek commiseration for one particular experience. Anyone? If you had asked me what would cause a 6 year old boy GREAT JOY and his mother (who was already sporting a headache and dealing with his younger exhausted brother) GREAT PAIN… I would have guessed: star wars, anything animated, or active, a “show” where he “performs” acts using the treadmill as a stage and seems to have Read more […]

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November 15, 2011

Never gets old…

  It’s a good thing that the first Parenting on Track pitch I heard wasn’t “its based on love.” My love was never really the question…my boys’ survival to their teen years was.  A friend told me aboutVicki’s class, and when I visited the Parenting on Track website I was promised that I could stop nagging and being a sherpa. (Right on!) Arriving at class Vicki clapped as she followed us to our seats in a no holds barred display of what we do with our praise addicted kids…”oh good for Read more […]

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