It was 4:30 on a Thursday and Steve and I were shut in the bathroom to avoid the two and four legged beasts in our house. It wasn’t supposed to be intimate or life-changing. This was the check in kind of sex. The type that says “I remember you.” A quick release and a promise of more to come. Instead I ended on the floor unable to see or stand. My mind blown. The pain in my head went way beyond childbirth. There was no number on the scale for what I felt. The clutching at the back of my neck Read more […]Read More
Category / weighty issues
“I still can’t wear mascara” she tells her friend. She is in tailored pants, a fitted T shirt hugging her curves with toned tan arms holding her 1/2 caf skinny latte. She has chunky jewelry, brand named sandals and professionally colored blond hair. “You look great.” her friend tells her, truthfully. “People are going to look at me and be like, what is up with her.” I guess because of the mascara. I am listening to her and wondering ‘what is up with her.’ My ginger peach tea is ready at the drinks Read more […]Read More
This morning I am motivated by the women I spent the weekend with, the man I spend my life with, and me. The path to feeling full seems navigable. I am ready to give it a go. In eight weeks I hope that I can practice child’s pose and feel repose instead of my belly. I want to walk uphill without it feeling like I am carrying Sisyphus’ rock. I know that hunger comes from more than an empty belly. I will not always be hungryRead More
My 25th High School Reunion looms. 1991 was the last time I loved my body unequivocally. Despite my Doc Martins I walked the halls with a light step. I let vintage silver charms dip into my perky cleavage. I could hike in Cat Rock Park with my smoker friends, and even if I had taken a drag I wouldn’t have dragged ass back uphill to campus with unde-roxygenated lungs. The only time in high school that I carried an extra 65 pounds was during winter camping trips. Then I could sit at the Read more […]Read More
I grew up just a few miles from the first Trader Joe’s store that opened its door outside of the West. Yet I never stepped through them. TJ’s goodies were all around during my young adulthood my friends were brand ambassadors before there was a term for it. If the store had offered services on Sundays many of them would have made their way into the hallowed rows of frozen delicacies. Trader Joe’s opened in Vermont a month after I moved away, but my indoctrination came at the same time as my Read more […]Read More
They arrive on a Saturday. A regular leisurely morning. As you pull off your PJ top to change into your rainbow tank top and start your day you see them slightly swollen. When you poke them they feel really strange. So despite the 90 degree heat you add a t shirt and sweatshirt over your tank and keep your chin down on the stairs, rounding your shoulders, you still see them poking through. That afternoon sitting on the rocking chair on your father’s lap, you realize you are too old for this as Read more […]Read More
As I pulled from Spear to Main street headed past UVM “downtown” for breakfast the brown sugar snow caused the mini van to jitter. It wasn’t a full fledged fish tail, but don’t tell my stomach which dropped floors worth as I quickly catalogued the traffic around me and the odds of crashing into the commuters. Safely on Main I realized how much the not near crash mirrored my thoughts. After reading for days about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s drug overdose he was on my mind as I drove. I Read more […]Read More
Everything itches. And before you start…no its not lice, or anything else lice-like. I’m assuming its not the sometimes fatal rash side effects of my new mood stabilizer. That really would be the ultimate mood stabilizer though…I mean she was feeling pretty bad but look at her now…I can do anything and she doesn’t get upset. (Imagine picture of dead body being poked by vintage yard stick.) The night of gratitude has come and gone. Family and friends and food. Lara and I created an amazing Read more […]Read More
OP: We got a vitamix. My first smoothie was a fail. Way too many beets.
Other other person: Beets make a lot of trouble in a smoothie world.
OOP: I stick to greens and yogurt. Though not together.
Me: I bought the electromagnetic ab exerciser. How can’t that lose? It’s better than a diet.
Me: Here is just ONE way it can lose. By not fitting around my waist.Read More
I’ve always been a run when I’m chased sort of person. But I wasn’t chased so much so I decided to run with my one other fat friend. We have started week four, and we are alive. That is about all I can say. I need you to tell me some things. Those of you who run. Runners high. Is it just the feeling that you get when you stop running? Is there really some sort of endorphin thing? Does the motion that I make have to be easily identifiable as a run to any onlooker for me to get this purported high? Shin Read more […]Read More