January 18, 2017

Sharenting…what we are saying about our kids online.

My livelihood depends on me sharing secrets. Loyal readers know my bra size, that I cheated on my first husband, and the brand of pill that I take for my mental illness. The details, often intimate, that I share on my blog and in articles are a part of the stories that I tell. My most popular posts are about parenting. Steve and I have a free range parenting style that I call "lazy." My writing is personal narrative, so even when I am creating a "listicle" for an outside website I tell stories Read more [...]
January 9, 2017

#amnotwriting what about you?

This is a rant for my blogging buddies. The rest of you might want to tune back in when I am writing about bras, or kids, or drugs. I made myself a desk. First Steve and I took everything out of the office. The office is a 10x10 room that is clown car full of games and homework and beer posters and clay figures and dead plants. It is home to 6 mismatched chairs and all of the electronics that are somewhere between life and death. (Much closer to death). It has bank statements and tax returns Read more [...]
December 21, 2016

Have dog will travel

For reasons that are clear if you have met me I have never been drawn to a padded bra. Sometimes when I am doing fantasy math about my weight I try to deduct the density of my breasts from the equation. Depending on my mood those suckers weigh between 10 and 100 pounds. Even on the lighter end of that spectrum they require a bit of work to get around. Last month we went on a dual trip to Florida and NYC. The night before travel I always labor over my travel outfit. I am looking for something Read more [...]
December 14, 2016

Just Desserts

Last night I hosted a dessert party for families that might choose our middle school. Students and parents, teachers and principal stood at my kitchen island and pitched our school. Kids talked about theatre and orchestra and sports. They raved about their STEM class and how they felt each teacher cared about them as people, not just as student ID numbers. The young math teacher glowed as she recalled a fight in her classroom...over the answer to a math problem. She interrupted her flash lesson to Read more [...]
December 7, 2016

New Math, Old Misery

He enters the bedroom at 7:45 in the morning. He has squeezed himself into last year's hoodie footie pajamas and pulled the hood up over his newly short hair. Seven forty five would be a civilized time of day if it weren't the hour that he was beginning his math homework. There have been three occasions in the ten collective years of elementary school that I have been pulled down the rabbit hole. I consider this a combination of incredible luck and parenting prowess. Luck because my boys are Read more [...]
December 6, 2016

No more f’ing stuff. Holiday shopping for kids who have what they need

If your house is like mine you navigate a Lego minefield and dine amongst art supplies. You sniff stuffed animals for cat pee, refold unworn sweaters and search fruitlessly for the dice of a thousand board games. We don’t need any more stuff. Yet the season of giving is steamrolling towards us. Our house features both eight nights of Hannukah and a visit from Santa. This means we are overcome with 9 days of wrapping paper and stuff to store and ignore. This year things are going to be different. With Read more [...]
December 5, 2016

Mind Blowing Sex can be anti-climactic

It was 4:30 on a Thursday and Steve and I were shut in the bathroom to avoid the two and four legged beasts in our house. It wasn't supposed to be intimate or life-changing. This was the check in kind of sex. The type that says "I remember you." A quick release and a promise of more to come. Instead I ended on the floor unable to see or stand. My mind blown. The pain in my head went way beyond childbirth. There was no number on the scale for what I felt. The clutching at the back of my neck Read more [...]
November 1, 2016

No-vember

It's early to write off a whole month of writing but I think I am up for the challenge. Read more [...]
October 20, 2016

Naked Cowboys and f***ing Oysters

Oysters have a reputation. They get around and they get you to get around. So you might have read the title of this post as a euphemism. But it is not. It is a lament. When my mother called to tell me that she had a horrible stomach bug from oysters I didn't really believe her. I thought of all of the times we discussed our lives of privilege  and wondered if complaining over oysters was perhaps the pinnacle of whining on the yacht. Then, as my kids say, I searched it up on the internet and Read more [...]
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