My roommates never pay rent.

One of them walks around the house naked most of the day leaving a trail of cracker crumbs behind him.

They both borrow my things without asking. I found my iPad on the floor with a battery charge of 7%.

One of them hasn’t washed his hair in six weeks.

The other one walks in on me in the bathroom, gets into the shower, and leaves MY towel in a heap on his floor.

Neither one of them has ever given me a ride anywhere, or picked up the tab for dinner.  Yet they expect me to drive them around and pay for everything.

every single time I make toast they seem to sniff it out and show up in the kitchen STARVING.

They are both students so they are always broke, and I have to have my name on all the utility bills.

Its a good thing they are cute, or they would probably be out on the street by now.


Did I mention they get up really early in the morning?




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Anna Palmer

Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble,, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at

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