Tag / mental health

September 18, 2017

One tiny tip for tackling mental illness

There is something about starting your day (particularly your Monday) fumbling with a plastic pill bottle. Or four. One morning I walked into the bathroom and looked at the pill bottles lined up like soldiers going to war. Instead of being on my side, battling mental illness and hormonal imbalance the army seemed to be working against me. With each turn of the cap I was taunted by miserable messages. Healthy people don’t need pills. You are not healthy. It is your fault you are not Read more […]

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March 14, 2016

Drowning from the inside out- what depression feels like

boat to keep from drowning in depression

I am trying to hold onto the words but they are as weightless as I am. In this moment all of my physical mass has left me. My ability to stand firmly on the earth is gone and I am aware of the slippery tiles beneath me. I am not sure I will stay upright. I am in the shower with Steve, a practice we began when the boys were so little that the only way to get through the day was to literally double dip, grabbing a moment together before we were back out on the battlefield of parenting young children. Read more […]

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February 5, 2016

Snow-Kissed…Managing anger in a fairy tale life.

I remember the bulbs, squirrel eaten and buried upside down. They will have to fight their way through human error and forces of nature to open their faces to the sun. We planted them together my boys and I, looking ahead. Today the ground is snow-kissed..the bulbs blanketed in their sleep. Inside the boys are bundled in their own blankets, the plastic fleece gone from soft to pointed peaks with lots of laundering. I wonder what happened to cotton, why is it not the fabric of OUR lives. It washes Read more […]

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August 12, 2014

Giving In to Depression

giving in- thinking about suicide and depression

So after battling, sometimes people give in. They have passed the point where they can turn things around on their own. Their intense love for their children is buried under heaps of misery so thick they can barely speak their own name. Whatever energy they have is used to put on a public face, pretend to be functional for the people around them, and is not towards shining a light of reason into the blackness of depression.

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