Tag / parenting

September 22, 2017

Moving on from Miscarriage

At book club last night a friend told the story of calling her husband. “Bring home milk.” She told him. “And cornichons.” “What…are you pregnant?” he asked. We all responded with a hearty laugh. We are old enough now so that is barely a physical option. Most of us have made SURE it is not an option. It sent me back though, to the time when I thought it was a choice. When I really wanted a third kid. When I couldn’t have one. — The tiny woman stands in front of me beaming. She Read more […]

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September 11, 2017

Eleven- alone and together

Oliver is red as he sprints to the finish line at his cross country meet. I recognize this red. It was what I felt back in fifth grade when I played soccer. One year they took our team picture after a game and my face was as red as our uniform. At home that evening I took out a red magic marker and colored in the faces of the other girls on my team. I would not be the reddest. Oliver is the reddest and it doesn’t bother him. He looks up at me and I notice once again that it won’t be much longer Read more […]

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May 16, 2017

Hand in hand

I am backing slowly down the steep incline of our driveway. It is 8:10 and I am a little later than usual…but just in time for the elementary kids to swarm towards the school, bumper height obstacles from my perch at the peak of our driveway. The car is beeping in protest but a careful check confirms it is just our poorly engineered concrete that is causing concern. I pause at the point of full reverse feeling thankful that no children died at my hand this morning and allow my eyes to move through Read more […]

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March 30, 2017

Twelve years of this boy.

2005. I might not have started with this one if you hadn’t (gleefully) pronounced that you have vomited more than anyone else in the family. Sadly (or happily depending on your attitude which is almost always good) this is true. You were born with reflux. It was so ridiculous that I lay awake at night designing a new kind of baby sleeper which kept you strapped in and upright. Then we discovered that the swing did the trick and for several months you slept in a swing. Granny worried we would have Read more […]

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March 7, 2017

Eleven Signs You have Nailed this Parenting Thing

We worry about teaching our kids resiliency, kindness and how to eat a balanced meal. We are focused on the wrong things. If your kid can’t make a penis joke you have more parenting to do. 1. You kids understand penis humor Me: “I like a firm banana.” 11 year old: giggle. 9 year old: “what’s funny? Wait…are you talking about penises?” 11 year old: “Why yes, yes she is” 9 year old: “Thought so.” 2. Your kids express a feeling of cosmic emptiness.   11 yo: “You know what’s Read more […]

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February 28, 2017

Parenting middle aged boys, stinky sneakers and wacky weed

The eyes I know. They are the same royal blue with dark grey flecks that I have admired for 11 years. Beneath them the cheekbones seem new.  The smattering of freckles that made him seem young and cute now make the strength of his face look open and friendly. It is not just his face that is made of more sturdy stuff. I grab onto his shoulders for emphasis and they are more mountain than bird wing. As a new mother I always felt it was possible he would fly off and leave but now I see that he his Read more […]

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May 23, 2016

Family Meeting- 20 minutes a week can save your sanity

Every Monday evening we clear our dishes and sit around our rough barn wood table to dish with each other. The four of us have been having family meetings (almost) weekly for 9 years. We have stuck with the schedule Danny Devito style on trains, planes and automobiles. We have skyped and face-timed. We have cried tears of joy and frustration. Despite wriggling and whining (mine), somber promises (Oliver), threats of incarceration (Steve), and a monotone mutter (Leo) we make it to the table. And Read more […]

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May 19, 2016

Choking…up. The highs and lows of parenting

Choking up with sadness

It is once again game night. Steve is back in Baltimore visiting his second family working so I have called in reinforcements. Our neighbors gather around the table with us to play Apples to Apples Junior. After several years of using Sharpies to customize cards the game has a decidedly less “junior” feel. There are about 5 cards that read “my balls” but lately the ante has been upped and there are “hairy balls” “big bald balls” and “your neighbor’s balls.” This one was particularly awkward with Read more […]

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May 4, 2016

Taste the Rainbow.

rainbow prism

The last time I saw in technicolor was when I went to music camp. I have always perceived notes as colors, when they are sharp they vibrate, flat they dim, and just right they make a rainbow. Sadly this doesn’t translate to being able to produce beautiful music. Once I gave up my instrument the world went back to shades of grey. Chatting with a friend whose life is music I learned that color associations with words, letter and notes have a name…and a Wikipedia page. Synesthesia fascinates me, Read more […]

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May 2, 2016

The precipice of change

precipice of change

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. C.S. Lewis Oliver has spent the weekend reviewing his packing list getting himself ready to spend three days in the woods with his fifth grade class. At night we lie close and he tells me that he will come back more grown up, but that I don’t have to worry…he will always be my boy. Clasped together I notice that our hands are the same size. Behind us the clothes are laid out across the living Read more […]

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