My husband and I have a lot of sex. Better than that we have a lot of great sex.  In the past month we made three purchases that improved an already good thing. Here comes the affiliate link disclaimer. There are no links. I am not getting paid. Except in the odd knowledge that I might be adding to your personal pleasure in the future.

  1. coconut oil enhances your sexlifeCoconut oil. This is not a new tip from me. Its great on furniture and penises. It is smooth and delicious in stir fries and vaginas. There is no need to choose…we keep one tub in the bedroom and another in the kitchen. The only downside is that a coconut oil end cap display at Cosco can make your face turn red. Just grab a jar and keep pushing (the cart.) Buy the best lube here.

2. The very best vibrator for your sexlifeThe very best vibrator. First a general plug. If you are on antidepressants like I am and want to have a mutual climax in under an hour then a few short cuts are necessary. To my friends who worry that their partner will feel less accomplished with a little extra help…screw it. Watching you feel pleasure is more important to the people who love you than taking 100% credit for it. Using it well enhances things for both parties. Helping you come more quickly opens up lots of extra slots in the schedule for sex. I’m sure your partner would sign on for that. If you are slow to come without toys there is a chance that you begin to worry that it will never happen. That anxiety might make you shy away from sex in general. Knowing that you have a magic bullet will help you sign on and dive in. So speaking of that magic bullet I would like to recommend this one. It is rechargeable, small enough to use between your bodies, and powerful enough to bring you to orgasm quickly if you need. As a bonus it doesn’t sound as if you are filling a cavity in the dentists office. The only cavity that is being filled is in bed. (I want to break the fourth wall for a minute…as if a blog even has a fourth wall. a. it was excellent to “inset this into the post” when I loaded the image and b. the shiny blond woman who has worked next to me at the coffee shop for 9 months and only once spoken to me when I dumped tea all over her DID see me spending time on a sex toy website. So even if you don’t enjoy this post I sure as hell did.)

3.purple mattress improves sexlife A new mattress. So this is a big ticket item. So big that it took Steve and I almost a decade to decide to make the big move. Every night (and many afternoons) we are glad that we did. Like about a third of the population we prefer memory foam mattresses for sleeping and to reduce back pain. They two downsides. They heat my husband up…and not in a good way. He runs 110 degrees on that thing which drives me to the very edge of the bed. The other downside is that they dampen your sexlife. Literally take the bounce out of it. Like 70s music we have found that reverb is a good thing. Enter purple. Through magic it keeps Steve cool, is made of natural materials (food grade if you ever need a midnight snack). It claims a spot in my top three products because it strikes the balance between perfect body support for sleep and the rebound you want during more active bed activities. If you’ve got an extra 1,000 bucks lying around I encourage you to try this out. There is no pressure. They come pick the thing up for free if you don’t like it. I can’t imagine that is possible.

There they are. My three most important tools for a great sexlife.

Come on. Share what works for you.

 

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Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble, Parent.co, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at annarosenblumpalmer.com.

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