White out

It finally looks like Vermont in Shelburbia. After a winter of too much cold and too little snow the sky has opened and it is falling hard and fast while the wind kicks up. billowing powder.

From in here it looks good.

Leo arrived home from school with snowflakes trapped in his eyelashes.

I have plans to take a walk at Shelburne Farms tomorrow and I am wondering if it should be a snow shoe instead. For that to work out I would need to have snow shoes. I have no snow shoes.I heard they handed those out at the border of Northern New England. Here, we will exchange your bathing suits and pool floats for these crampons and snow shoes. Suckahs. The welcome committee must have been on break when I arrived in 1996.

Or else they knew they would be wasted on me.

I think about snow angels (good fun about once every 5 years), snow men (they fall apart in this kind of snow), and snow ball fights (remember that manic scene in Groundhog day?). Snow forts (C’mon I’m a grown up). Snow suits (anyone who has wrestled a screaming toddler into a snow suit knows that they are the most challenging article of clothing ever made. After ski boots, and socks.) Skiing (don’t do it, plus…ski boots), sledding (Fun until you run into the tree). Are you feeling wintry yet? Do you like woolen hats? (What about when they are crusty and cold?) How about sitting next to the cracking fire while it puts on a snow show through the window? (But wait, now you are too hot next to the fire so you take off your sweater then leave the room and are freezing.)

Wait! I’ve got it. Snow days! Who doesn’t love a snow day. (Every parent who has any plan for their day between 7:30 am and 3:00pm.)

I guess I am a snow grinch.

The only thing it is good for is eating.

 

 

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Anna Palmer

Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble, Parent.co, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at annarosenblumpalmer.com.

5 thoughts on “White out”

  1. I follow your blog and it’s hilarious. You have to be the most bored, complaining person I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. Ya don’t work, you have tons of free time, you complain about vermont, you complain about the weather, you complain about your kids. What do you enjoy? Anything? Your blog is a broken record of misery.

  2. “A broken record of misery!” Ha! You can’t leave a comment like that and not put your name down. Great response Anna!

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