Frozen Caveman TV prescription.


I had dinner with a friend last night. The rare, one on one, for no reason at all, bread breaking. Neither of us were at our most animated but we covered lots of ground. I expected to leave and write a post about motivation, the difference between translation and interpretation, and how running is absolutely not like flying.

Instead I find myself coming back again and again to her throw away comment that she hadn’t watched any TV in 20 years. None. For the past few years she has begun to dip her toe in the water of current TV. So I will focus on 1990-2010. Good years.

Its a lot like the frozen caveman situation…but just about TV, which obviously is almost as critical. So I will prepare a prescription that will take not entirely 20 years. I’m  factoring in that she (and I) like relationship driven talkies. What that means is I have 90210 on here, and not Breaking Bad. Think of this as the chick lit of TV lists.

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So no one in the history of imdb has voted this onto a top 100 list. At least not the two lists that I used to steal the bulk of the images for this post. I understand this. It is not really good TV in any critical sense. As in…what critics might sense. But in the way that these kids (or the characters because the actors were famously in their thirties) were exactly my age, and I could totally hang out with them every thursday night whether I was popular or ostracized…that is critical TV. I will never go back and watch every episode of this show the way I did West Wing, My So Called Life, Veronica Mars or a few others…but I’m not sure any of those other great shows have ever made me feel quite the kind of nostalgia for a summer trip to Paris with a boyfriend who went on the be Superman that 90210 did, either. Plus I never had to light a float on fire to show my inner pain because…been there, done that.

Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.47.06 PMI’m trying really hard not to call this the show about nothing. We all imagine we are imminently interesting to the people in our lives (see blog, Shelburbia) Jerry actually IS. Because he is fucking funny. Without Seinfeld we would never have had status updates, and social media would not be what it is today. Yada Yada Yada.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.47.51 PMMy love for Blue Velvet led me to Twin Peaks, and the first season was everything I never knew I wanted in TV. After a while I went from feeling as though I was watching a masterpiece to thinking maybe I was down the rabbit hole with the puppet master…but the performances, music, tempo, staging, timing, and strange midgets dancing are worth a season at least.


Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.48.28 PMThe smoking man’s in this one! Compelling as a weekly procedural because of the relationship between the leads (scientific skeptic, v believer with all the sexual tension you need) this show was the first to teach me how compelling a conspiracy theory threadline can be. Equally great stoned and sober.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.49.07 PM It is possible that MSCL has stood the test of time because there were only 19 episodes, so they never had to endure the irritating aging of cast members, or writers strikes. I watched it on network TV, and began running on my hamster wheel to create VHS tapes by episode 3. I had worn out these tapes by the time it aired for the first time on MTV about a year later and I finally got to record the first 2 episodes. You complete me. I was precient enough to know there would be a time that I would re-watch the show and relate more to Bess Armstrong’s character than Claire Danes’. That time is now. Perhaps that time was a little before now, but it is for sure still now. Oddly, I still want Jordan Catalano. Remember when we found out he couldn’t read? And “Brain” tutored him? If you don’t remember I gift you the utter wonder of My So Called Life.

Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.51.06 PMThis is why I don’t loathe Sarah Michelle Gellar. She’s Buffy! She slayed vampires way way way before they were cool. The scary stuff isn’t so scary, and the daytime stuff is so bright and sunny they just as well could have named that high school Sunnydale high. It was so fun and fluffy that I got sucked into the dark and dank Angel sequel. A fate that twenty years later has kept me from watching “The Originals.” Pretty sure I made the right choice there.


Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.51.50 PMSo I had forgotten Billy. This show didn’t weave itself into my inner consciousness like some of the others…but if you can get around Calista Flockhart the other characters are all slightly cartoonish and FULLY awesome. And it helped me teach Leo what a wattle is. Even if I am not confident in the spelling.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.52.36 PMI almost left this one off, because the horrible movies have brought it past our era of TV darkness…but it is the best 20 something single woman material ever produced…and my friend who was 20 something and single during this era somehow survived without it. Doesn’t seem possible, but color me Mulder.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.53.26 PMNoel….Ben…. I was on team Noel all the way. Every freaking mumbling Ben minute. That only made the show better for its frustration factor. A super young Jennifer Garner makes a more than cameo…and it will also make you understand the the heat on Scandal has been simmering for a long long time.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.54.25 PMI thought I would like the freaks.

Instead I liked the geeks, but they made each other so much better.

And isn’t that the point? I mean, its the ultimate High School lesson. That and forging your parent’s signature.


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Dawson’s Creek

If it hadn’t had Dawson this show would have been first rate. But that little wanker had a name check, so every episode required between 12- 33 minutes of misery. The rest was the best though…and now there is pausing and fast forwarding ON TV. So go ahead. Give it a try. Pretend it really is Cape Cod.


Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.56.19 PMNow everyone knows who POTUS is. Not so at the beginning. When I watched West Wing in real time I read the paper every day. So I could understand the facts behind the incredible moral high ground that the show takes. Plus walking and talking, and Donna and Josh, and CJ.

I would vote for any of them.


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One Tree Hill. The step brother of Dawson’s Creek. It tries to be edgier, and admits that everything is filmed in NC. But it is worse in every way. With my big love for high school TV I can’t just ignore it.

If you watch only the first season you will not hate me. Anything after that is on you. Not good my friends, not good at all.


Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.57.38 PMThe Sopranos is the reason I can talk about being in therapy. Tony is a total badass and he benefits from therapy. Plus it features such touching family tales, with a little cheating and getting whacked for good measure. The show that made HBO, and was great almost until the end.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.58.30 PMThe first show to glamorize being 16 and pregnant, Gilmore Girls’ central fast talking relationship is between a 32 year old mother and a 16 year old daughter. Guess what? They are both old enough to date! Their small town has all of the charm and comfort of every other imaginary small town, with the wackiness you riff off. And Melissa Mcarthy waaaaaay before Bridesmaids.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 7.59.13 PMSkins makes American teens seem prude, or American media seem hopelessly naive.Both may be true.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off of skins then. It was like the movie Kids. But for longer, so you knew these kids, which made things even harder for you.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 8.00.26 PMI loved it. From the opening death scene, to the credits I was fascinated by the world surrounding death. How some characters were in the midst of grief while the others were just in the day to day grind. Weird to think about these actors in their new roles on Parenthood, Dexter, and that Sally Field show that just went off the air. You could play a pretty fun six degrees of six feet under game. If you wanted.



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Party Down is awesome and funny and if you are a male person or in a relationship with a male person they will hurdle beyond tolerance to enjoyment of this show.

Crazy LA parties, real comedy, cater waiters…

Plus Jane Lynch.


Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 8.02.37 PMJason Bateman was my original crush. The first guy I kissed looked so much like him that I tried to convince my friends that he WAS him. You can imagine how well that went.

About as well as the kiss.

Putting that aside this is a wicked, wacky, madcap good show.


Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 8.03.15 PMA long time ago, we used to be friends…but I HAVE in fact thought of you lately. Like today in fact when I read my kickstarter update. And yesterday when I wore my i heart KB t shirt, and the day before when I thought about a friend who I forced to watch the show who didn’t believe me that she would love Logan but obviously she loved Logan. Because. Logan.



Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 8.04.51 PMIts a medical mystery tour. As long as you dont border on the hypochondriacal…or get annoyed by medical mumbo jumbo…you should enjoy House. Hugh Laurie is brilliant. As is the character he plays. Its a bit of a weekly formula: Odd symptom, inconclusive tests, first treatment, precipitous decline, dual treatments one will save the other kill. Critical choice. Recovery. But the drama!



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I saved the best for last. I’m not going to say anything except watch it.


Clear Eyes, Full Hearts…



Part of Speech

This WordPress site is built on the “Verb” template.

How active!

What a wonderful template for writing, posting, promoting. It made me wonder how much like a verb each day is.  Which made me wonder about other parts of speech.

You have never seen a less design-y group of images than "parts of speech- images" on a google search. I dare you.
You have never seen a less design-y group of images than “parts of speech- images” on a google search. I dare you.

Verb– A verb asserts something about the subject of the sentence and express actions, events, or states of being.

A verb day is active. You are ing ing. This can be physical or mental. Striving towards the state of awareness is double verby. Things are not fixed on verb days. Running, writing, meditating, judging, accepting. Internal or external there is a lot of change on a verb day. It cannot be pinned down. That is for nouns.

Noun-A noun is a word used to name a person, animal, place, thing, and abstract idea.

A noun day might be the start of something that you can label. A new house day. A new baby day. A milestone day. Or perhaps it is the end. There is less motion in a noun day. It stands alone in the overall flow of life, some sort of stake in the ground. Representing that one thing. The noun. Wedding. Funeral. Puppy. Graduation. First steps.

Adjective-An adjective modifies a noun or a pronoun by describing, identifying, or quantifying words.

An adjective day can be effortless or effortful. Whether it is conscious or not it is a subtle adjustment to a noun day. Your noun day begins to have nuance and identity. Where the funeral was a fact, the poignant funeral begins to tell a story and weave itself into all other days.

Interjection- An interjection is a word added to a sentence to convey emotion. It is not grammatically related to any other part of the sentence.

This is pure feeling. No milestone, no relationships, no action. Depressed days. Feeling relief after hitting a deadline. Being paralyzed by fear. These are interjection days. Oh My!

Preposition-A preposition links nounspronouns and phrases to other words in a sentence. The word or phrase that the preposition introduces is called the object of the preposition.

Before, Beyond, beneath, between. The B’s abound. Preposition days highlight relativity. You are beyond tired. This run takes you toward you goal of a marathon. Its not about the run (verb day) or the marathon (noun day), but your progress.


 Adverb-An adverb can modify a verb, an adjective, another adverb, a phrase, or a clause. An adverb indicates manner, time, place, cause, or degree and answers questions such as “how,” “when,” “where,” “how much”.

An adverb day is an integrated narrative day, it relates to all other days and adds style, emotion and time frame to them. Plus it answers questions. How will you have that conversation with your mother? Carefully.

What is today? Is it any one thing? Or can you make an entire sentence?

Definitions of the parts of speech taken from the University of Ottawa. Who has an excellent google page rank.

Apple season

Move over Apples to Apples, I have a new favorite apple game.

(And blog)

So if you are too lazy to click the link and read the well written rules by the game founder I will botch them here.

Every person has three layers. (Stuff it biologists) Skin, flesh, and core. Like an apple, see.

At each layer you can be either good or bad. (Shove it people looking for nuance- this is a game)

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Their Deal: Saints through and through; everyone else other than BAD-GOOD-GOODs makes them a bit uncomfortable; they totally underestimate how bad bad people actually are.

Why They’re Great: The world needs some people like this to hold everything together; they’re intensely trustworthy.

Why They’re Shitty: They have potential to suck the fun out of the room; they disapprove of a lot of things.


Their Deal: They turn new people off only to be revealed as positively wonderful when you get to know them. GOOD-GOOD-GOODs like to make a token BAD-GOOD-GOOD friend to keep people on their toes.

Why They’re Great: They’re utterly solid; they detest both phoniness and pettiness; people tend to respect them; they make great leaders.

Why They’re Shitty: Their ego might be slightly too thrilled with its little “standoffish yet wonderful” thing.


Their Deal: Their friends chuckle when new people talk about how nice they are; they tend to be friends with a lot of other GOOD-BAD-GOODs; they often feel like they’re worse people than they actually are.

Why They’re Great: Usually fun and often funny; great social skills.

Why They’re Shitty: They can be both phony and petty, but nothing too dire.


Their Deal: They intimidate a lot of people and turn off others, but their friends think they’re the best and fiercely defend them. Most of their friends are other BAD-BAD-GOODS with some GOOD-BAD-GOODS and some BAD-BAD-BADs sprinkled in.

Why They’re Great: They’re kind of a dick but at least they’re a kind-hearted dick.

Why They’re Shitty: They’re kind of a dick.


Their Deal: Dangerous people; they win a lot of people over and end up hurting a lot of people; they make friends with GOOD-GOOD-GOODs, and then have nasty falling outs with them.

Why They’re Great: As far as Bad Core people go, they’re at least making the world a better place a lot of the time; strong profile for political success.

Why They’re Shitty: The people they do harm are the ones closest to them; they’re highly manipulative.


Their Deal: This is a weird and rare profile, and usually happens when a not-so-great person is carefully crafting their persona; they’re often delusional, thinking of themselves as a BAD-GOOD-GOOD (“People think I’m a dick but people who know me know I’m a great person”) and denying all ties to their bad core; they break a lot of hearts.

Why They’re Great: Good profile for success in a cutthroat industry (their bad skin can provide the proper intimidation, their good flesh can build a large trusting network, and their bad core can focus singlehandedly on personal advancement at all costs and fuck people over when necessary).

Why They’re Shitty: They’re pretty shitty people.


Their Deal: Everyone’s fun friend who turns out to also just kind of be a huge asshole. Lots of falling outs with GOOD-BAD-GOOD friends after hitting it off beautifully.

Why They’re Great: Amazing as a Real Housewives cast member.

Why They’re Shitty: Biggest phonies of the bunch.


Their Deal: Just a good old fashion bad person. Sometimes friends will try to spin the narrative that their BAD-BAD-BAD friend is really a BAD-BAD-GOOD, but no one really believes it. They don’t really understand people with Good Cores but detest both GOOD-GOOD-BADs and BAD-GOOD-BADs for both thinking and trying to project to the world that they’re better than BAD-BAD-BADs—BBBs see right through it.

Why They’re Great: They’re neither phony nor delusional; often make great standup comedians; great mafia profile.

Why They’re Shitty: Do you really have to ask why they’re shitty?


So now lets get back to me.

I am a b-g-g. See, utterly wonderful underneath. I have to say though…sometimes the flesh of the apple can have some bruises. I think I have some of those. Bits you just don’t really want at all. I think I might be one of those nuance people who I just told to shove it. The profile just doesn’t seem to provide a full picture of the essential ME.  Play away. Post your apple profile below. If you are a bbb just go ahead and come up with your pseudonym now.

How about them apples?